biggiefries.com

Burnout (part 1)

I used to be one of those people that said, “If you are in love with God, you can’t experience burnout.”  I’ve since realized that I was lying to others and to myself.  Nine months ago, I left a job in fulltime ministry for good reason.  At the time, I was blaming it on differences of opinion and styles of leadership.  But, the real reason is, I was just burned-out.  It was best, for myself and for the church, that I leave.  It would not have been healthy for anyone for me to stay in the position that I was in.  This is has been a realization that I’ve come to after months of being gone.  During these months, I’ve learned a lot about myself.

Right away, I jumped into another job and started “volunteering” my design abilities to a new church.  Can you say “mistake”?  At first, it was good.  Unfortunately, when you volunteer… you are free, and as it is with just about every church out there, you get abused.  I know, because I’ve been on the other side.  As a ministry leader, I was the one that loved having certain people work on Sunday mornings, because I knew I could count on them and they were good.  I was the one abusing others.

Now that I’m the volunteer … the free labor.  I’m having to protect myself from becoming the abused.  The church doesn’t mean to be abusive… but free labor is easy, it’s cheap, and it’s accessible.  Because the abused will feel like a jerk if he/she says no to the church.  I mean, that’s like saying no to God himself, right?  So, you have look out for yourself.  You have to say NO.  Even though it sucks to do so.

I’ve learned that I’m not ready to jump back into fulltime ministry yet.  When you work in fulltime ministry, your heart has to be completely soldout for that cause.  It has to be what wakes you up in the morning, and keeps you awake at night.  If it isn’t… you will be miserable.  I wish I was there… but right now, I’m not.  I have to take a look at my own priorities, and look out for my family.

There will probably be more to come on this subject.